|"That's all, which will stay after me..." DDT|
|I couldn't leave at first two years. And the reason of that was Psychological understanding of the word "leaving". Since my teenage ages I was wondering What is going to happen when I'll be gone? At first it was a simple question- what will Happened when I leave the room. How people will behave after I leave, will they be the same Or totally different? Will my existence make difference or I, as a soap bubble can't affect this? Mini-society? Well, couple years later my head was visited by some other psycho-ideas. What's Happened when I leave this world? Will THEY (the rest of the people) continue to live the way they used to? My brains are telling me- "Yes, Sure, No doubt, nothing will change after you'll be gone". But something inside me can't believe it. The same idea as a leaving a room, - leaving the country. Once in my life I had been a witness of myself, being outside of the room. Don't take it too deeply: I met people in the room didn't know that I was there.||It was a week before I left my motherland - Moscow, Russia on Otvalnaya1. This party was organized in Jewish Theater of Shalom. Now, when I'm looking back over my shoulder, looking atfaces of people I loved, I can't believe that I've seen them last time nearly a 2 years ago. I still in my dreams can hear "Kol-Ha-Kavot!"2 as we all liked to scream... Honestly, I wasted plenty of time on "Sohnut"3, for no career, for no reason. I worked in camps, kept repeating the same methodic, games, jokes, ways of implementing...expressing myself. Some of them looked new and might be considered improvisations... But there were not really. After 3 years active Jewish leadership, after the appointments and disappointments in the words being said by Fox: Men have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.||You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. -Antoine de Saint-Exupery [The Little Prince]. I was proud of myself , though because I really made a good promotion for the people from the school of Madrihim4. This school was one of the things that kept me in Sohnut and might keep for much longer, if my lifeline didn't change as a stream of the Mountain River... What's happened with my students at school? Well, they all were successful if you can be successful in such a place like Sohnut. Some of them left Sohnut, some of them left country, some of them will do that in close future. Anyway, all of us will always have something, that nobody can take away from us- our MEMORIES.|
2- Kol-Ha-Kavot - 'Hebrew' Everybody cool
Sohnut(1) - 'Rus' Getting Dry
Sohnut(2) - 'Hebrew' Agency
Sohnut(3) - 'Zgosipov' Razvrat
4- Madrihim - 'Hebrew' people that pretend to be responsible for those who they had tamed...